Mission Support
Life changes in an instant once you receive a cancer diagnosis and everyone wants to help. Below is a list of things that have been helpful for our family as well as the many other families battling cancer. We will continue to add as more responses come in but here is a good starting point.
For those on the receiving end:
Consider a Caring Bridge page or Facebook page for updates for friends and family. Many have found this to be the easiest way to keep everyone up to date without having to send too many texts.
It is helpful to write out a list of typical groceries, kids snacks/meals, essentials, so someone can just drop a bag by or send them via instacart. Another idea is to include a few links to your favorite recipes. You can include them on your meal train page.
People genuinely want to help. If you have a need, ask.
Grace upon grace. People have good intentions but might not always say the most helpful things. Have grace and know that they mean well.
Have you received something that was so helpful or meant a lot? Has someone done something that was impactful? Reach out and let us know so we can add it to the list.
Additional ways to help:
Set up “chemo carpool” for your friends. This is a huge help and gives the caregiver a chance to breathe, some “normalcy” for the kids, and the patient a chance to visit with friends.
Know their favorite coffee order? Drop it off on the porch with a quick note to let them know you are thinking of them.
Decorate their sidewalk with chalk— something kids would love to participate in as well!
Keep checking in! The support most receive in the beginning is amazing, but it often trickles off as time goes on and it can feel very lonely. Set a calendar alarm to remind you to check in.
Caregiver support: Do they like massages or pedicure/manicures? A gift card is thoughtful or plan a morning or afternoon and join them.
Kid basket with some hands-off activities the kids can do on their own. One of our favorites are the Sensory Kits from Young, Wild, and Friedman
Thoughtful gifts to give as a group:
Cleaning service: Whether it’s a one time thing (maybe your cleaning crew has an open day and can swing by your friend’s house?) or you and some friends gift a few months or more of cleaning— this was hands down one of the best gifts we were given (and this statement has been echoed by all caretakers I’ve spoken to). Have friends collect money via Venmo, set up the cleaning service, and pay each time it is complete for a few months. There is nothing better than a clean house. AFG is also happy to help with this option— please reach out!
Family photos: A favorite gift we were given. I will cherish those photos forever. Go an extra step and help them pick out outfits— I’m not kidding when I say decision fatigue is real and paralyzing.
Letters of encouragement: we did a letter campaign and had friends write and send letters to Gatlin to encourage him. Friends collected them and put them in a beautiful leather binder for him to pull out and read whenever he needs a reminder that he is not alone in this fight.
Don’t ask what they need— chances are they don’t know. If you see a need, just do it or say something like…
“I’m going to the grocery store in the morning, send me your list.”
“My cleaning crew has a free day next week. I’m going to send her to you.”
“I’m driving by CFA (or wherever), what do you want?”
“I made chicken noodle soup today and am leaving some on your porch for now or you can freeze for later.”
“I’m coming to cut your grass this afternoon.”
A quick text: “No pressure to talk. Just wanted you to know we’re thinking of you.”
"Can I pick the kids up from school or take them for a playdate this weekend?"
"I have a few hours open on Friday. Want me to come fold laundry, walk the dog, or just sit with you?"